Ehh?? Speak Up!

I can't remember the first time I realized that I was old(er). Was it when someone in my own circle of friends turned 50? The first gray hair? Maybe. To tell you the truth, I don't feel my age - 46. Ask anyone who is past 40 and they will tell you that they have to do a mental double-take to tell you their age. In our minds, we stopped counting years ago. Some might say that it's a result of our years that we have to pause and think about it (ha ha) but I believe it's more a case of the number being less important than the experience.

Perhaps it's an indication of my mental state, but I remember with absolute clarity the details of my childhood. My early adulthood is more fuzzy. Hmmm... I'm able to recall all the words to my groovy favorite television show themes but can't remember much about those first two years in college. And no, I don't drink. Childhood is usually characterized by being care-free. I suppose that's why all those details are etched in my memory. I remember what the inside of my Liddle Kiddles lunchbox smelled like: vinyl and bananas. And I can still hear the "click click" sound our principal's lucite heels made on the terrazzo floors of Thomas Albert Sinclair Elementary School. What was the deal with the smell of mimeograph paper? Ask anyone who went to school in the '60's and they will remember cold purple ink and eagerly inhaling that methyl alcohol vapor. Damn stuff was probably frying our brains, which probably explains our fashion choices in the '70s. Yecch.

So the first part of my life is like a vivid cartoon...the middle -- sort of like cable tv on a bad weather day. Then, when you have children it's like going through your own childhood again, only as an observer. You experience all the first joys, the fears, the excitement, but through someone else's eyes - so it's familiar but fresh. And it's absolutely invigorating. It's the closest thing to the fountain of youth you will ever experience.

In two months, my baby turns 18. I *should* feel old...but I don't. Maybe I should say, "yet." I'm in fairly good health, try to eat well and get exercise. I have Maroon 5 on my iPod and I'd die before I'd wear "comfortable shoes." I feel...okay. Therefore, I am subscribing to the adage that you are only as old as your feel. If that's the case, then I will write more after I watch that Scooby Doo episode on late night tv. It's amazing what you can get away with if not for those meddling kids.