Bone by Bone by Bone

On a suffocatingly hot day in 1975, someone threw a Coke can at me and chanted, "Ching chong!!" The incident repeated itself a few years later, but this time the object thrown was a rock. Same chant, however. Both throwers were white males. My initial reaction was fear, then anger, and then shame at not being more angry. It took many years for me to reconcile that anger. Having a child rekindled the concern, but I rationalized the anger and attributed racism to stupidity, ignorance and fear of the unknown. I had "intellectualized" my anger. I found myself almost unfazed when a white person said to me, "Stupid Chinese bitch" when I was simply doing my job by enforcing the rules where I worked. My reaction, as if I almost *expected* it, surprised even me...and this was less than two years ago. Have I become accepting of racism? Am I done being angry?

I encourage you to read Bone by Bone by Bone by Tony Johnston. It's the story of a white boy in the 1950's whose racist (but "charming") father prohibits the boy's friendship with a boy who happens to be black. Like so many other books tackling this subject, this Young Adult book is very....uncomfortable...to read, especially the part where David's father enforces the "Nigger Rule," ("You ever let that nigger in, by God, I'll shoot him.") a sentiment which resonates throughout David's life and forces him to make a hard choice regarding his relationship with his father. The story is a sad reminder of how this kind of thinking is like a pebble dropped in water; the concentric circles ever-widening until the whole pool is affected.

Even if you've been lucky enough to have lived your life insulated from the kind of humiliation - and much, much worse - that I (and so many people of color) have endured, you'd be a fool to believe that every incident doesn't affect your life or your children's. Each of us were there that hot day in 1975; either throwing the can, getting stung on the shoulder and hearing the words, or looking the other way and pretending that you didn't witness it. Racism exists today. Which role will you play? I am not done being angry.