Tree Frog The Sequel: It's Not Safe To Go In The Back Yard

Damn yoouuu, Tree Frog! Why are you terrorizing me?? Only a few moments ago, I had my second encounter with the tree frogs living in the passion fruit vine outside my back door. If you remember, the little "cuties" kept affixing their sticky little bodies to the glass door and then flinging themselves at me when I'd open the door to let Sam out. The last time almost gave me a heart attack. I've taken to opening the door in "armed Ninja protection mode." Okay, so I crack the door with a towel over my head and hold a salad fork (you use what you've got). I think those frogs must be training the newly born froglets in a sort of miniature amphibian Jihadist attack camp aimed at giving me a seizure of some sort. The past few days I've noticed a new fellow on the door, albino, I think because instead of bright green, he's mostly white with just a splotch of green on his back. I just now opened the door for Sam and the little critter was staring at me from about 6" above eye level. I tried to shoo him away and...he HURLED himself at my head (much like seeing a flying squirrel in full spread formation launch himself from a tree at you) straight at my HEAD, landing in my HAIR. AAIIIIIIYYII!!! Now, let's pause and take this moment to imagine the frenetic gyrations I was able to perform in order to shake the sticky booger out of my hair. I'll have to imagine with you because the whole episode is a blur to me.  I vaguely remember screeching and flinging my head in and out of the curtains much like dancing the Hokey Pokey on acid. And at some point, there was a cold, wet, stickiness on my cheek. Unless someone pitched a pre-masticated GummiBear at my face, I'll assume it was Frogzilla. As for Sam, I think he watched me with detached interest for the first few minutes and... then left the room.  Finally, I saw the terrorist all splayed out on the side of the couch (in my mind it was the size of my open palm) and I was able to gather my wits about me enough to herd the Great White Amphibian out the door and back into the wild from which it came. Leapin' lizards!!  'Course, I'm sure the frog is at home now going, "Dude, you should have seen it, it was freakin' HUGE. And that hair could use some conditioner..."  Oh, sorry, I digressed.  Sam, I'm sorry but you're never going outside again.