Smell Like A Library!

Just in time for Christmas: Library perfume! Now you can smell just like your local library or book store. The ad says, "...(it) is a subtle scent, and it’s not so much the exact recreation of the musty, antique smell of the pages of old book as much as it is the entire book…a hint of worn leather bindings, a whisper of the frayed cloth and the wisp of wood polish from the shelves it sits on and even a bit of sweetness we can’t place." And also, "more like a faint memory rolling around in your mind and inspiring you to dream of a long afternoon in an old leather chair curled up with a novel."

Gee. That doesn't smell anything like OUR library, which isn't exactly STINKO (you know what I mean) but there's no wood polish or leather. After breathing it in all day, I'm not exactly "inspired" to do anything...except maybe take a shower. Our library perfume ad would read: "...a pungent odor, reminiscent of cardboard dropped in the bathtub and left to curl up...of mildew left over from Hurricane Ike. A mixture of rubbing alcohol, smoker's cough and clove body spray with the sour after-notes of infrequently washed feet. Inhale it like a slow-burning cigarette, starting out subtly and then building in acrid strength and potency until your all the hair in your nostrils falls out onto your lap." Yeah. I even have a name for it: REEK. Everybody's wearin' it. Bwahahaha!