Word Vomit

It's a running gag at my house that whenever someone, either on television or in person, uses the word "surreal," my right eye begins to twitch. Listen to any interview by anyone under the age of 30 and inevitably they will describe some experience as "surreal." Ack! "The MTV Awards were so SURREAL." Nooo. I'm guessing they're confusing the word with "unreal," and not "surreal," referring to the 20th century style of art using fantastic images to represent unconscious thoughts. I know I should be more tolerant when people blurt out the wrong word, but it literally sends shivers up my spine. That's another word that's frequently misused, "literally." It's supposed to differentiate between the literal and figurative uses of the phrase used but nowadays it's common to hear, "I literally died when I heard that!" Riiiiggght. I'm not the only one irritated by the flagrant misuse of this word, there's a weblog called Literally, A Weblog devoted to pointing some real groaners. And while we're on the subject of pet peeves, the one word that nauseates me more than any other is.....(wait for it...) SUPPOSABLY. Seriously, the back of my eyeballs feel like they're going to explode when people say this word. Of course, they mean to say "supposedly," but something totally WRONG happens when it leaves their lips. Aarghh!! I want to press their lips together and say, "Please, please try again! You can do it!" Unfortunately, now that I've brought it to your attention, you will hear this word ALL the time. Eyeballs everywhere....exploding. Being irritated by the misuse of words has a long history with me. Some of you may have heard me recall gems blurted by my mom, the Queen of Misused Words, say things like, "Don't get near that dog. He might be RABBI'd." With my sister furiously warning me with her eyes to shut up, I ignore her and say, "Well... that may be true because I think he was wearing a yarmulke." Or, Mom's famous line watching two cows on the news which had been wandering for days without food: "They're eating something...they don't look EMANCIPATED." My sister and I freeze and look at each other. Don't say it...don't say it... "Maybe just the black one." *wince* Restraining sarcasm is easier with the threat of a chopstick slap to the back of the head. But I'm getting better. I've come a long way from the days of refusing to listen to America's "Horse With No Name" because I was offended by the line, "Cause there ain't no one for to give you a name." Seriously?? And WHY doesn't the damn horse have a name? You're in the desert...what else is there to DO?? And yes, I admit to correcting bathroom wall grafitti with a red pen...but I digress. Why do people keep writing "definatly"?? I feel like I'm mellowing in my old age. At work, I stayed calm and reasonable with a co-worker who kept pronouncing the word "author" as "arthur" and "librarian" as "libarian." Mahaaablahh urgh...thud!!! Yes, my eyeballs felt like exploding everytime he said these words, but I believe that I've finally broken him of that annoying habit (one down, many to go). My nails have almost grown back from digging them in and I'm sure the circ desk can be sanded down from the gouging but I'm doing better. Amazing what blood pressure meds and a new outlook will do. Surreal...definatly.