Made Me Laugh

Chinese Tea Eggs

As a child, Easter at my house always meant Chinese Tea Eggs. I suppose you can make them any day of the year since there's no religious significance to making them, but if you're boiling eggs anyway what's another 2 hours? Basically, they're eggs cooked in black tea, soy sauce and star anise pods. They're spicy, salty and smoky and the rich, dark shells are beautiful. You crack the shells while cooking to allow the tea mixture to seep in and make the web-like patterns on the egg whites. Recipe below. To those of you making faces before you've even tried them: You cannot be convinced. Take your nasty wax Cadbury Creme Eggs and go away.

Chinese Tea Eggs

6 eggs

3 tbsp dark soy sauce

1 tsp salt

1 tbsp black tea

5 star anise pods

1 tsp Chinese 5-Spice powder

1 tsp cracked black peppercorns

1 bay leaf

Boil eggs in cold water for 2 minutes and remove. Crack shells slightly but do not remove. The more cracks, the more elaborate the design. Place back in water and add remaining ingredients and simmer covered on low for 2 hours. Allow to cool before removing and peeling. Chill and enjoy!

Spring Cleaning #29 - Spam, Phish and Cookies...Yum

How often do you defrag? No, this is not a Cosmo question. Defragmentation, in computer lingo, is a process that eliminates fragmentation in a file system, which occurs when there's not enough space for the system to store the entire file in one space so the pieces are stored separately. Defragmenting helps by physically moving (compacting) the pieces closer, thereby freeing more space. I think. Anyway, I do know that if you "defrag" your hard drive on a regular schedule of maintenance, things run smoother and more efficiently...and faster. At home, I defrag regularly, but don't pass that around. I also run a weekly Virus Scan and use a little program called CC Cleaner (Crap Cleaner...I kid you not) which is like getting a colon cleansing for your computer. Gets rid of old temporary files, cookies, empties my recycle bin and history urls. THEN, I run an anti-spyware progam called Ad-Aware to catch companies attempting to "phish" or illegally gain info about me by pretending to be someone I know. All three programs are free, not shareware although you can upgrade to a fancier model, which I'm sure provides more in-depth protection. All of this is to keep my e-mail clean and free of junk and to keep others from spying on me...and sending me junk.

At work, it's common sense to keep e-mail, what is essentially a common workspace, clean and clutter-free. I don't always delete as often as I should (but to be fair, if you read my profile I do admit to being a packrat) but I will endeavor to streamline in the future. I don't have a personal workstation so e-mail is about the only area I can claim responsibility for. I know that "personal e-mail" really applies to your work persona and not to your private home entity who receives tacky jokes and pictures of LOLcats or your friend's daughter's prom pictures. Makes sense to me. Although when I worked for the school system (won't say which, but whose name sounds a lot like the library branch where I work) we regularly received pictures of the superintendent's grandchildren through our school mail. Hmmm. I guess the lines are still blurry to even those who should be in the know.

Spring Cleaning #28 - Getting Dumped

Getting rid of old useless crap is always a good idea, whether you're cleaning out your closet, your hard drive...or your marriage. he he . Cleaning up makes everything flow easier, and in the case of your computer, a lot faster. I did look at the Wikipedia entry for GTD (Getting Things Done) but I don't think my life is busy enough to need "a plan." Ditto for the online sites, which might be helpful if I had four kids, traveled for work, planned dinner parties each week and didn't know my head from my hindquarters. I'd also need a good therapist with a Valium connection if I was stupid enough to over-schedule myself like that (Moms...it's ok to say "no"!) but that's another soap box. Simplifying frees you. If you look at the sites listed like Remember The Milk, Ta-Da List, etc., to me, these are just MORE *things* to do. One more text message to receive, one more website to check before leaving home. And although I'm getting to the age where forgetfulness is no longer a character flaw, usually, one Post-It note in my purse is enough to remind me to get whatever the heck it was that I needed. The other good thing about being this age is that, even when I *don't* remember, I realize that I no longer care that I forgot.

Harry Potter Name Generator

What's your Harry Potter name?

To find out, try the new Harry Potter Name Generator.

I was shocked and embarrassed to see mine. Let me know what yours is.

Sound #26 - Girl, Put Your Records On

Social networking with music was, for me and my generation, dancing in my parents' living room with my friends while one of these (left) scratched out "I Think I Love You" by the Partridge Family while we belted out the words into our hairbrushes. We only shared our records with our close friends - or at least, those within walking distance of each other's turn tables and respective "33's and 45's." (If you know what these are, I'm impressed.) The idea of finding commonality through favorite music with strangers online would have been...well, strange. Welcome to the 21st century.

I'm not on Facebook or My Space, nor will I probably ever join. I'm not against these social networking sites, they're just a little too personal for my taste. This blog is about as close to you people as I'm willing to go and that's only because it's relatively anonymous. LOL I did look at the featured music sites, however. Some of them are paid subscription based, if you want the full range of music options. The free or "free trial" option only gets you 30 seconds of your favorite songs -- a taste of what you could have if you're willing to cough up the moolah for the real deal. No thanks. For the resident Mix Master, the editing sites seem like a cool way to "mash up" several of your favorite songs to create your own -- often better than the original -- OR, to write and edit your very own. I think this is terrific for aspiring young (or old) musicians who might otherwise not have access to a recording studio. Meanwhile, while I've traded in my record player for an iPod (which has the Partridge Family hits loaded on it), I've still been known to belt out some tunes into my hairbrush from time to time. Fortunately, it's in the privacy of my bathroom, although sometimes it's accompanied by the horrified stare of my 18 year old son, who shakes his head and mutters, "That is just SO wrong."

Got Library Fines? Dance 'Em Away!

Another library has jumped on the DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) fine-waiving band wagon. The Shifted Librarian reported awhile ago that, at some libraries, patrons with fines could opt out of paying them if they were able to beat the librarian at a game of DDR. Now Wadleigh Memorial Library in New Hampshire is offering patrons the same opportunity to erase those late fees. Additionally, the library staff provided coffee and pastries as part of a Patron Appreciation Day. Interesting proposition. At our library, there's often leg wrestling for doughnuts...but that's just among the staff. Bwahahaha...

Image courtesy The Nashua Telegraph

Sound #25 - Rated Aaarrrrrrggh!

Hello, my name is Secret Asian Girl and I am a Pirate. I confess. Where's the plank, I'm ready to walk it. Now it's your turn. I think at one time or another, we've all been guilty of pirating something. Heck, in 1977, I stashed a mini tape recorder into a matinee of "Star Wars" so I could listen to the dialogue at home. Han Solo was hot. And who hasn't borrowed a friend's CD so you can burn a copy without purchasing your own? Still, as digital media becomes more and more publicly accessible, I can see the need for a legal parameters in order to protect the rights of artists. At the library, where we deal with many different forms of media, we should be familiar with current copyright laws and follow them accordingly regardless of which side of the debate we embrace.

I used Roxio software (on my computer at home) to burn a CD of the music I downloaded in the previous exercise, as requested. The information in this post was very enlightening, even if I still may walk the plank for my previous transgressions like downloading "I Still Haven't Found What This Hook Is For" and "Who Poured the Grog Out?" Oh well. "I Guess That's Why They Call 'Em Doubloons......." he he. Ok, stop.

Sound: #24 - Layin' Down Sum Tunes

This poster is meant as a caveat to young people (and older people) to be careful when wearing ear "buds," as you may be blocking out other important sounds around you -- like oncoming traffic. Duh. But it could also be a warning to pay attention when I'm trying to talk to you or you might get slugged. Yes, I do own an iPod (lime green Nano, if you must know) but there are few things more annoying than being ignored by a person in the same room with you because they're too "into their music." Enjoy the tunes....just also be aware of what's going on around you - for your own safety.

I examined the other websites listed but as an iPod owner (4 times over), my download site of choice is iTunes. It's user-friendly, and has an impressive variety of music -- even older songs and soundtracks, most at 99¢ each. And with the average cost of albums on iTunes at $9.99 versus $14.99 in the stores, it's a wonder that people still buy packaged CD's. You can also purchase movies and television episodes which are easily downloadable to your video iPod, which all iPods will eventually evolve into.

Pandora is an interesting site for online radio listening. For those of you with more complex attention spans than mine, perhaps you can listen to music while you write, but I cannot. I need total silence when composing a letter.....or a blog entry. I did, however, register at the site and list some music preferences. For this exercise, I downloaded "Time," by Chantal Kreviazuk , "Worn Me Down," by Rachael Yamagata and "Are You Gonna Go My Way" by Lenny Kravitz. Rock on, baby.

Happy Belated Valentine's Day

It's never too late to look at cute pics of puppies!! This one is marked for Luuuuv.

Abridged Too Far?

A colleague of mine brought my attention to a recent article in the Houston Chronicle called, "Short on Words, Deep in Meaning." The story referred to a legendary challenge to novelist Ernest Hemingway to write a novel in only six words. His worthy response was, "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." I think that's pretty fantastic...and more difficult than you'd think, to come up with provoking ideas in a mere handful of words. The examples in the article were profound and hilarious and tragic. Just like a real novel, if you're lucky. One example was, "Being a monk stunk. Better gay." And also, "Was father, boys died, still sad." I think my friend was urging me to pick up the gauntlet and give it a try, which intrigued me. You'd be amazed at how frustrating it is to come up with deep, insightful thoughts and then condense them to only six words without sacrificing the meaning you're trying to convey. My first attempt was: "Writer's block. Found Double Stuf Oreos." Okay, stay on target.... How about: "What's so bad about television? Gilligan." Or, "Love anonymity but who am I?" Now I'm on a roll. "Courage is overrated. Fear moves you." I like that one. I guess my favorite submission would be: "Valentine's Day today. Filed for divorce." True story...but that's another blog entry. To my friend who issued the challenge, I'd love to hear what you think about my feeble attempts at six word novels and....I'd really love to read yours. Thanks for the inspiration.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Given the title of my blog, I would be deeply remiss if I didn't acknowledge today's holiday. Happy New Year! Traditionally, the new year celebration begins on the first day of the first lunar month of the Chinese calendar and ends on the 15th day with the Lantern Festival. Most of my childhood memories of Chinese New Year revolved around FOOD (lots of it) and, of course, the ever-popular lai see, lucky money, in red envelopes. I have vague childhood memories of going to Chinatown to watch a lion dance (see picture left) and eat char siu bows (steamed bbq pork buns) but it's been a long time. As an adult Texan, I recall hearing people talk about going "line dancing" and I thought they were talking about "lion dancing." Seriously. I couldn't figure out how these people were planning to get into that elaborate get-up with those huge hats on. Sheesh.

Anyway, if you're interested in seeing what your Chinese Zodiac sign is click here. I was born in the year of the Ox. I can be stubborn and narrow-minded BUT I'm also fiercely loyal. And most importantly, I share a sign with George Clooney. Peace and prosperity to you all.

The Truth Is Out There

A night light worthy of Fox Mulder's bedside table.

A tad pricey but coolness ain't cheap.

Bone by Bone by Bone

On a suffocatingly hot day in 1975, someone threw a Coke can at me and chanted, "Ching chong!!" The incident repeated itself a few years later, but this time the object thrown was a rock. Same chant, however. Both throwers were white males. My initial reaction was fear, then anger, and then shame at not being more angry. It took many years for me to reconcile that anger. Having a child rekindled the concern, but I rationalized the anger and attributed racism to stupidity, ignorance and fear of the unknown. I had "intellectualized" my anger. I found myself almost unfazed when a white person said to me, "Stupid Chinese bitch" when I was simply doing my job by enforcing the rules where I worked. My reaction, as if I almost *expected* it, surprised even me...and this was less than two years ago. Have I become accepting of racism? Am I done being angry?

I encourage you to read Bone by Bone by Bone by Tony Johnston. It's the story of a white boy in the 1950's whose racist (but "charming") father prohibits the boy's friendship with a boy who happens to be black. Like so many other books tackling this subject, this Young Adult book is very....uncomfortable...to read, especially the part where David's father enforces the "Nigger Rule," ("You ever let that nigger in, by God, I'll shoot him.") a sentiment which resonates throughout David's life and forces him to make a hard choice regarding his relationship with his father. The story is a sad reminder of how this kind of thinking is like a pebble dropped in water; the concentric circles ever-widening until the whole pool is affected.

Even if you've been lucky enough to have lived your life insulated from the kind of humiliation - and much, much worse - that I (and so many people of color) have endured, you'd be a fool to believe that every incident doesn't affect your life or your children's. Each of us were there that hot day in 1975; either throwing the can, getting stung on the shoulder and hearing the words, or looking the other way and pretending that you didn't witness it. Racism exists today. Which role will you play? I am not done being angry.

Are You Smarter Than a Macchiato?

In this totally unscientific "test," if you can find the man in the coffee beans within 3 seconds, the right side of your brain is better developed than the average person's. If it takes between 3 seconds and 1 minute, you're normal (whatever that is). If it takes between 1 minute and 3 minutes, your right brain is underdeveloped and functioning slowly. And...if you're sitting there thinking, "There's a man in this picture?" then you need to quit drinking so much coffee and buy a Sudoku book to strengthen that gray matter. Me, I found the man rather quickly but I can't get him to take my latte order. *sigh*